“Nambia’s health system is increasingly self-sufficient.” – Donald Trump
The Nambian Covfefe was brought to America by Nambian Ambassador, Frederick Douglass, who is doing an amazing job. This drink is one of the reasons we’ve been hearing more and more about him lately. (Another reason being, of course, his work with the widows of the Bowling Green Massacre).
Nambia suffers from a plague of herpes, Rasputins, and Groundhog Days – things that keep coming back even when you think they are over. The Nambian Covfefe prevents their return. Unfortunately, it also kills sick people. Which brings us, of course, to healthcare in America. Nambia controls its healthcare costs (and zombies) by treating its water supply with Nambian Covfefe the same way the commies put fluoride in our water in an effort to trick us into socialized medicine. The Covfefe-filled water kills the sick people, cures their herpes, and prevents them from returning as Rasputin-zombies. As the popular Nambian slogan tells us, they’ve been Jason Vorhees-free since ‘93.
We offer this non-lethal version of the drink in honor of the Graham-Cassidy proposal to wreck the healthcare system. Graham-Cassidy will do fuck all to treat herpes, and we won’t know its effect on zombies until after the vote when it gets a CBO score. But it will kill sick people. Which is, of course, one way to keep healthcare costs down.
- 1 oz orange curacao
- 1 oz dark rum
- 1 oz light rum
- 1.5 oz orange juice
- 1 oz lemon juice
- 1 oz lime juice
- .5 oz grenadine
- 2 dashes bitters
Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and pour into hurricane glass. Garnish with orange and a tiny umbrella to symbolize the amount of healthcare coverage you’ll have after the passage of Graham-Cassidy.