Military Parade

What says, “we respect the Founding Fathers’ vision for a Republic governed by civilians?” What says, “No more kings?” What says, “we have learned the warning lessons history has to offer about militarized societies?” Is it a military parade? No? Well, if you have a small penis and delusions of grandeur, fuck it. Tanks and large…

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Fuck you and your pre-existing condition

Tonight is the State of the Union address, given out by our 45th esteemed President, Donald J. Trump. Drunk Publius aims to become Drunker Publius for the festivities. Grab a copy of either volume of Cocktails for Survival (volume 1 or volume 2) and choose your favorite drink. Make a pitcher. Or three. Take a drink…

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The Shutdown

So, the Republicans control the federal government, lock, stock, and barrel. (They really like guns.) But, they’re the kind of guys who could manage to fuck up a wet dream, couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat, and couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the…

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Corker Kickback

“Hey, how did all this cash get stuck in my pockets? I demand answers!” Bob Corker is shocked,*shocked* by a provision stuck in the Republican tax bill shortly before he conspicuously flipped his vote. But, surely, it’s just a coincidence. After all, if MAGA meant anything, it meant that the economic anxiety of the American…

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Native American Sensitivity Training

We know that it’s very difficult to remember how not to offend all of the various people in the world, but after Trump referred to Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas” during an event honoring WW2 Native American Veteran Code Talkers, and after Sarah Huckabee Sanders doubled down and said that calling someone Pocahontas isn’t a slur,…

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The GOP Tax Scam

Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver, Paul Ryan, and his colleagues in the House passed a tax restructuring bill. So Drunk Publius has a cocktail in tribute to this audacious money grab. Now wait a minute y’all, this drink ain’t for everybody. Only the wealthy* people. So all you rich mothers, get on out there and drink. Drink I…

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Sippy Cup

Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen! Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States, November 11, 2017 Awww, did the poor president get his…

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Cocktails for Survival II

Coming Soon! Wondering what to get your left-leaning friends and family for Christmas this year? Looking to spread some cheer during what could be dark times when sharing holidays with Trump-supporting relatives? Did you burn through your copy of Volume 1 in the first 100 days and need new material? We are coming to the…

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Mueller Time Drink

Judging from his rage, Trump is tweeting like a rat in a cage. The Arpaio Pardon, signalling Trump’s willingness to issue unjustified pardons to get his buddies out of trouble, was not enough to deter Robert Swan “Bob” Mueller III. “Bobby Three-Sticks” was director of the FBI from 2001 – 2013, appointed by George W. Bush…

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Me Myself and I

The U. S. Virgin Islands is a magical place with cool breezes, super-extra white sandy beaches and ten hot submissive virgins for every presidential tourist. But the most magical of all the magical things about the Virgin Islands is that the ocean so calm and so clear that you can see almost see your own…

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