Tonight is the State of the Union address, given out by our 45th esteemed President, Donald J. Trump. Drunk Publius aims to become Drunker Publius for the festivities.

Grab a copy of either volume of Cocktails for Survival (volume 1 or volume 2) and choose your favorite drink. Make a pitcher. Or three.

Take a drink for each of the following:

  • Trump says that something he has done has been the greatest.
  • He talks about how smart he is.
  • He talks about how there is no collusion.
  • Drink twice if he says the phrase “Witch Hunt.”
  • Disparages Obama.
  • Do a shot every time he references “The Wall.” (We suggest you do a shot of The Wall – page 28 of Volume 1, or if you need something strong, a shot of The Fucking Wall, page 22 of Volume 2.)
  • Mentions Obamacare imploding.
  • Mocks anyone for anything.
  • Mentions Putin in an admiring way.
  • Disparages Mueller.
  • Claims he drained the swamp.
  • Talks about a minority as if they cause all the country’s problems
  • Name drops a celebrity name
  • Blames the Democrats for getting nothing done
  • Claims no president has ever done more
  • References the size of any of his body parts

The first person to pass out* wins.

* We don’t recommend you actually drink until you pass out. This is a joke. But we understand in the new era that satire will no longer be understood and our attorney wanted us to clarify. 

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