Mudder's Space Force Milk

Forget about the fact that there’s been a treaty (the catchily named Outer Space Treaty) in place since 1967 (era of boring names) that mandates that space “shall be used exclusively for peaceful purposes,” When a president needs something punchy and Kennedy-esque to rally his rabid screaming base behind, he has two choices: war and…

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Military Parade

What says, “we respect the Founding Fathers’ vision for a Republic governed by civilians?” What says, “No more kings?” What says, “we have learned the warning lessons history has to offer about militarized societies?” Is it a military parade? No? Well, if you have a small penis and delusions of grandeur, fuck it. Tanks and large…

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Skinny Repeal

Have your minio— I mean, *colleagues* in the Senate let you down bigly? Are you simply trying to give your rich cronies a nice tax break, and you don’t understand why everyone is so pissed? Do they keep accusing you of killing a number of people that would make Hitler say “Day-um,” before you have…

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Twitter Beef

Reports are that POTUS might live-tweet Comey’s testimony before the Senate today. I’m making popcorn now to go with this cocktail, The Twitter Beef, from page 29 of Cocktails for Survival.

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Last Night in Sweden

The massacre at Bowling Green. The terror in Atlanta. And now . . . . It’s 11:59 on Radio Free Publius; this is Cocktails for Survival with drinks and the truth until dawn. First, we’ve got a few words for some of our brothers and sisters in Sweden: “the chair is against the wall, the…

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The See You in Court

Donald Trump tells the 9th Circuit Court he’ll see them in court. Which begs the question, where else would you see a court but in a court? Or does he mean he’s taking a court to court? And if you are taking a court to court, do you need a bigger court to take a…

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While The Perry seems like the perfect drink to serve our next cocktail party, I just don’t think we have the moves to pull it off. Check out page 36 of Cocktails for Survival: Not as trump as you drink I am to find The Perry. We recommend you don’t attempt this drink unless you have some…

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Hey, Everybody! It’s Martini Monday with Cocktails for Survival! We thought we’d take a few minutes to highlight a few of the deliciously funny martinis we conjured up for your next Trumped-Up Cocktail Party! Here’s the lineup: The 400-lb Hacker Who else but Donald Trump could roll both fat-shaming and hacking into one big lie?…

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If you drink to the point of memory loss, more things will be unprecedented to you. “I was dancing with a lampshade on my head last night? That’s unprecedented!”  “What do you mean that I did the same thing on New Year’s Eve? No way!” (While a Trump Presidency may drive Democrats and Republicans alike…

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Getting Drunk

You are going to need a strong drink for this one! The Ohio legislature passed a bill that bans abortion before a woman even knows she’s pregnant! Sorry all you people with ectopic pregnancies! Hope you like to die… because Ohio thinks that if you’d just not let blastocysts implant in your fallopian tubes you…

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