The Hand Jerker

Drunk Publius is obsessed with the President’s inability to shake hands like a normal human-being.

Apparently the only way to prove your masculinity is by jerking on the hand of your unsuspecting subject. There’s no way this move makes you look like an asshole compensating for tiny hands. It only makes you look strong and powerful while the person you jerked looks weak for stumbling and being confused about your new, confident form of hand shaking. (Does not apply to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.)

When you have run out of hands to jerk and are thinking of jerking something else, we recommend you jerk around this cocktail. It’s cool, creamy, and delicious and has no questions about your manliness.

The Hand Jerker

The Hand Jerker


  • 3 oz Bourbon
  • 1 oz heavy whipping cream
  • 1 oz coffee liqueur

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Jerk repeatedly until the drink can feel the depth of your masculinity. Hit it a few times to prove your point. Strain into a chilled glass. Top with whipped cream and garnish with a drizzle of caramel.

Note: Serving in small glass will make hands look larger.

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