The day is almost here. This Friday, Donald Trump will be sworn in as President of the United States. To honor this event, we would like to suggest this Trump Inauguration Drinking Game to help ease the transition. First, grab your copy of Cocktails for Survival: Not as trump as you drink I am and choose any drink you want (we suggest a Pussy Grabber – page 42, an Impeachment – page 24, or a Tax Evader – page 49). Go ahead and make a pitcher of whatever you choose, you’ll need it.
Turn on your favorite news network (I would avoid Fox News though) and take a drink for each of the following:
- Whenever a reporter points out a D-list celebrity. Drink twice if they suggest the celebrity is a bigger deal than they are.
- Every time a reporter winces.
- When a camera zooms in on empty seats.
- Each time Anderson Cooper looks dismayed.
- Anytime the news shows someone crying (in despair)
- When a reporter mentions the name of any member of the House or Senate who is boycotting
- Each time someone references “The Wall.” (We suggest you do a shot of The Wall – page 28.)
- If someone suggests that Obamacare is different from the ACA.
- Anytime a reporter points out a person of color is at the inauguration
- Whenever a reporter says “Putin” – just drink a whole beer.
- Anytime there’s unnecessary jingoism.
- When women are objectified based on their appearance or clothing choices.
- If the camera catches a protester in the background.
- Every time you see Ivanka or any of Trump’s male children looking like an 80s teen movie villain.
- A song is played where the artist is dead so he or she can’t complain, but you know they wouldn’t have ever supported Trump.
- Whenever anyone says the word ‘Mandate.’
- Each time a comparison is made between Michelle Obama and Melania Trump. (We suggest you make both the Michelle – page 20 and the Melania – page 21, and take turns drinking from each. Feel free to spit out the Melania if it doesn’t have as much strength or character.)
- Every time Mitch McConnell is shown and you want to puke.
- Trump swears on a copy of Atlas Shrugged instead of the Bible – whole bear. (Not beer. Bear.)
The first person to pass out* wins.
* We don’t recommend you actually drink until you pass out. This is a joke. But we understand in the new era that satire will no longer be understood and our attorney wanted us to clarify. Of course, if your health insurance isn’t being taken away, you can afford to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. But then again, if that’s the case, you might not need to drink.