Posts Tagged ‘recipe’
The Spicer Fact
Sean Spicer is a raging ball of cognitive dissonance. As it turns out, trading one’s dignity telling lies in service of a short-fingered vulgarian makes a guy cranky. He needs a nap, a snack, and an honest job. But, so long as he’s yelling alternative facts at the White House press corps, what you’ll need…
Read MoreThe Dress Like a Woman
These drinks are LITERALLY writing themselves. Another day, another reason to drink. Today we have a drink called The Dress Like a Woman. Apparently women in the White House are now expected to dress like women. We assume that means something other than being a woman who wears clothes. To help us cope with the…
Read MoreThe Bowling Green Massacre
In today’s version of “Shit Kellyanne Conway is making up,” we bring to you a new drink we call The Bowling Green Massacre. Drink enough of these and you too may hallucinate the unnecessary, indiscriminate killing of a large number of human-beings in Bowling Green, Kentucky. The Bowling Green Massacre Ingredients: 1 oz absinthe 1 oz fresh lime juice…
Read MoreThe Going Rogue
Has your new boss suddenly silenced you with a gag order? Are you no longer allowed to communicate with the public? Are you being actively suppressed because you aren’t sharing his “alternative facts”? He’s probably just bitter (much like the campari in this recipe) because he realizes that he doesn’t really have the best tweets…
Read MoreThe Fucking Wall
You may be reading this and thinking, hey, The Wall is a drink in the book already. Yes. Yes it is. But it just wasn’t strong enough, so we’re adding The Fucking Wall. #fuckingwall We find former Mexican Presidente Vicente Fox’s tweets to our new president pretty awesome, and it’s his tweets that inspired this…
Read MoreThe Pre-Existing Condition
When we wrote this book, we knew we’d have enough material for a Volume II in 2017. What we did not realize was that we’d have enough material to write new cocktails daily. But here we are. Last night the Senate voted to gut Obamacare (for those of you still unsure, Obamacare is just a…
Read MoreThe Golden Shower
(The puns, they are endless.) In honor of our PEEOTUS, we’ve created a new drink to honor him. Enjoy! The Golden Shower Ooooh you naughty boy! Has your pal Putin got Twitter all atwitter because they have proof that you like a little kink with your hookers? Did you take “trickle down economics” a little…
Read MoreThe Trumped Up Trickle Down
Make a pyramid out of champagne glasses. Pour all of the champagne into the top glasses and see if any lands in any of the lower glasses, or if, like the poorest people in our society, they are left out completely with no hope of ever getting any champagne. If anyone suggests that it’s unfair that…
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