Tonight’s the night! President Trump will be addressing a joint session of Congress in prime-time. Speech is set to start at 9PM. We are here to help you get through it with some cocktails and a handy drinking game. Grab your copy of Cocktails for Survival: Not as trump as you drink I am and choose any drink you want (we suggest a Societal Collapse – page 81, a Man Baby – page 51, or a Tax Evader – page 49). Go ahead and make a pitcher of whatever you choose, you’ll need it.
Turn on your favorite news network (I would avoid Fox News though) and take a drink each time Trump:
- says ‘repeal and replace.’
- talks about what a great job he’s done.
- calls the mainstream media fake news.
- indicates he has no understanding of how health insurance works.
- mentions his good buddy, good pal Putin.
- exaggerates any kind of data, stats, or numbers.
- says something is terrific.
- says something is a mess.
- creates a massacre or terrorist event that doesn’t exist.
- talks about any ethnic group as though they single-handedly are responsible for all issues in the US.
- mentions what a great job anyone on his staff is doing. Drink twice if he says that about Betsy DeVos.
- talks about how great the wall will be. (Bonus points if you are drinking The Wall – page 28.)
- says ‘sad.’
- says ‘bigly.’
- calls anyone a hater or a loser.
- suggests protesters are being paid. (Then send Drunk Publius some money.)
- indicates that he alone will fix every problem that has ever existed.
The first person to pass out* wins.
* We don’t recommend you actually drink until you pass out. This is a joke. But we understand in this new era that satire will no longer be understood and our attorney wanted us to clarify.