The Alt Left

The Alt Left

“What about the ‘alt-left’ that came charging at the, as you say, the ‘alt-right’? Do they have any semblance of guilt?” – Donald Trump, President of the United States, August 15, 2017 Fighting nazis is now just as bad as being a nazi. Some nazis are fine people. Just ask 45. “You also had some…

Read More

The Fire and The Fury

Fire and Fury

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this manic pace from crisis to crisis, To the end of a hopefully abbreviated term; If Trump is allowed to continue, the fools who support him, Guam, and the rest of the world alike will be facing a dusty death. He is a poor player, strutting and preening…

Read More

The Dump

The Dump

‘Chatting with some members before a recent round of golf, he explained his frequent appearances: “That White House is a real dump.”‘ – golf.com It’s bad enough that you have to live in a place that’s filled with white nationalists and other incompetents. It’s hardly gilded at all. Not classy! Putting the “white” in White…

Read More

The Mooch

Now that’s Spicy’s out, the Trump Administration needed to find someone who could up the ante, who could talk the talk, walk the walk, and who isn’t afraid of a little verbal diarrhea. Enter Anthony Scaramucci or “The Mooch.” His first task was to immediately delete all his past tweets (great communication!) and profess his…

Read More

The Skinny Repeal

Skinny Repeal

Have your minio— I mean, *colleagues* in the Senate let you down bigly? Are you simply trying to give your rich cronies a nice tax break, and you don’t understand why everyone is so pissed? Do they keep accusing you of killing a number of people that would make Hitler say “Day-um,” before you have…

Read More

The Jamboree

The Jamboree

The Pussy-Grabber in Chief has a new vision for the Boy Scouts. In the good old days, we saw depictions of the dutiful Scout helping a little old lady cross the street. In Great-Again America™, Trump wants them to help liberate her from the oppression of health care. He used the Scout Jamboree as a…

Read More

The Flip

The Flip Cocktail

The election of Comrade Von Clownstick has made displays of patriotism uncomfortable. Watching kids Pledging Allegiance at a softball game is creepy if you regard the small-handed Mussolini in the White House or the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver and his turtle buddy in Congress as the objects of their devotion. Can members of the Resistance stand…

Read More

The Covfefe

Covfefe

The Covfefe 2 oz Vodkafefe 1⁄2 oz Simplefefe syrupfefe 1⁄2 oz Kahlúafefe 1 oz Freshlyfefe brewedfefe espressofefe Garmprk: Whole Covfefe Beams and Ambienfefe Whenever you get up to Tweet from the can in the middle of the night, take the Covfefe! It is the best drink when you whatsckrewtek conflabable Russgrikcord. And it can’t be…

Read More

The Body Slam

The Body Slam

The good folks of Washington D.C. better say their prayers and eat their vitamins because Trumpomania has come to town. The latest Trumpomaniac is Greg Gianforte of Montana. Rather than answer a question about the Republican healthcare plan, he thought the winning strategy was to assault a reporter in front of a news crew with…

Read More

The Mar A Lago

The Mar a Lago

(to the tune of Kokomo) On the Florida coast, there’s a place called Mar-A-Lago That’s where Trump likes to go to get away from it all Golf clubs and fake tans, secret meetings with Putin He’ll be grabbing pussies with his small hands Down in Mar-A-Lago The Mar A Lago Ingredients 1.5 oz coconut rum…

Read More